Meet Starter Kit Mom: Chevonie
When did you become a mother? April 2007 – My first child was born on December 18, 2007, I knew the moment he was conceived. I was made for this.
What are some of the challenges of being a mother? Prioritizing – everything is important and I want to do everything 100% but I just can’t. Scheduling – my life revolves around my husband, children, work and church. There are so many things to keep track off. My own head – I'm constantly questioning myself and my decisions in raising my children. Am I doing it right? Am I saying the right thing? Am I doing enough? Will they be great? Will they need therapy? Being a wife and putting my marriage first.
How many children do you have? Three boys– 12, 7, 5
What is the best thing about being a mother? It’s rewarding, their love for me, their smiles, their independence, knowing that God trusted you to take care of His most precious beings.
What did you learn about yourself after becoming a mother? I was equipped for it. God gave me everything I needed to manage this ministry. That all of my skills of being a mother are transferable to every position imaginable. I can do anything and everything.
What is something that you experienced during pregnancy or parenting that no one prepared you for? The bond, it is magical. If your child hurts, you hurt both emotionally and physically. The strength I had through pregnancy, delivery and beyond.
What are some unconventional beliefs/practices that you have as a mother? I trust myself completely. I listen to other people’s advice but I truly do what’s best for me and my family.
What are some self care practices that you do to feel like yourself again? I dress up, put on makeup and go out with my husband, friends, or children. I try to do all of the things that make me happy. I play loud music in the car and sing obnoxiously while I drive, with or without the kids. I work out and I eat right – trying to get to my goal weight.
How did you find out that you were expecting? I was at my graduation ceremony and felt weird, lightheaded and nauseas. I thought it was a relief from stress about graduation. I went to the bathroom and could not shake the feeling. After pictures we went out to eat and I couldn’t eat anything. I asked my husband to stop at the store to get a pregnancy test. I took it that day and it was positive. I confirmed with my doctor and surprised my husband at this birthday dinner two weeks later.
What scared you most as a first time mother? I did not bond with my son immediately. Not sure why, I was happy but as soon as he was delivered I went into work mode. Planning, preparing, fixing, changing, I just kept busy with him but I did not bond with him. When my son caught a cold at 4 weeks old. That is when we I stopped all of the mechanics of being and mother and just held him with love and compassion. I would do ANYTHING to make the cold go away. Of course I thought he was going to die of a cold…I am extreme….and I was ready to give my life. LOL! That was when I was head over heels in love with that boy.
Did you have trouble conceiving? If so explain My husband and I got married in 2004. We did not use protection but I was not ready to start a family yet, I wanted to have some fun. My husband is 4 years older than me so he was ready, ready for children. We did not use any protection, however, nothing happened. The first year went by, no pregnancy, the second year went by, no pregnancy. Family started to get worried, they were asking, praying, and stressing us. I was not bothered at first but after year one, I started worrying. We prayed, we anointed ourselves, we went to Pastors to pray for us. Nothing….We finally decided to go to a fertility specialist. It was April 2007 and after our first consultation I was supposed to return for testing when my next menstrual cycle commenced……we didn’t return 😊. My son was born December 2007.
Have you ever experienced the loss of a child? Yes, after our first child we conceived again in 2011. I found out I was pregnant with our second child. I was only about 6 weeks along when I confirmed it with our Dr. That weekend I traveled to NY for a family wedding and I when I got to the hotel I laid down to rest. When I woke up I was bleeding. I immediately drove to the hospital. I lost the baby that day, they could not save it. I can’t explain how I felt. Even the Dr’s thought something was wrong with me. I was not mad, just sad but I was so thankful that God gave me one child who was thriving that I did not see it as a loss. I think about it somedays, but I believe in my heart that it was all a part of God’s plan.
If you could offer a pieces of advice to other Starter Kit Moms what would you say? Trust yourself! God has given you EVERYTHING you need to guide, love, nurture and protect your child. Make sure you dedicate your child back to God, and pray for them daily.
Lastly, looking back what would you say to the expecting mom on how to prepare? Don’t go at this alone. Many are going through what you’re going through. Get support! Get the right support! Get the support you need. Be flexible! Nothing will go the way you want it 100%. Find your flow and go with it. Create the environment you want your child to be in, make decisions that will create a legacy for you and your family. Think beyond, today, and look toward to the future.