A Rainbow after the Storm: I am Expecting My Miracle Baby During a Global Pandemic
I am Shaina James and I am expecting my Rainbow baby amidst a Global Pandemic.
Like a lot of expecting mother’s, I am Looking forward to the safe arrival of my baby. While experiencing the different hormonal changes that occur during pregnancy, my level of joy and gratitude always exceed the not so enjoyable attributes of pregnancy. No amount of frequent trips to the bathroom, gas and fatigue could ever make me want to have this blessed experience taken away.
The reason why I don’t take this pregnancy for granted is because I was pregnant last year, but on 01/29/2019 my pregnancy was unfortunately cut short. My baby’s heartbeat could not be found at the sixth month and so I gave birth to a still born baby boy. Going through such a traumatic event was so painful, however within me, it yielded a greater strength, faith, courage, poise, and perseverance. Along with those great qualities, that tragedy also taught me to be very careful not to be so hasty when it comes to uttering any complaints. Now that I’ve been blessed to carry another baby I try to speak more positivity in the atmosphere, rather than negativity.
Going through such a traumatic event was so painful, however within me, it yielded a greater strength, faith, courage, poise, and perseverance
With the Corona virus before us and now frequently displayed on the news and all social media Circuits, my faith has been challenged and now pushed to new levels. I have to limit the amount of news I expose myself to because hearing about death on a daily basis is very upsetting. Although no one close to me has passed away my emotions are very sensitive. I find myself crying a lot and so for the welfare of my baby I realize that I have to take initiative of the situation by limiting the amount of time I watch and listen to the news.
I know that I will be facing more character growth in the final six to eight weeks of my pregnancy. I’ll have no choice but to rise above the mental, spiritual and physical challenges put before me. Right now my emotions have been on a roller coaster. One of my concerns is what will labor and delivery be like during a crisis of this magnitude. Because this Covid-19 strain is so new, very little information is available for pregnant women. Information that says things like “hospitals will not allow at least one support person in the delivery room” bring worry to an already difficult process. I also pray daily, asking the Lord to protect me and my baby from the corona the virus while in the hospital. Because the images on tv show cramped and over crowded hospitals, I find myself concerned about my baby’s well being after labor and delivery. These have been some of the things that are major concerns as of recent.
Another unfortunate result of the Covid-19 outbreak is that I’ve had to cancel my baby shower. I’ve had mixed emotions about not having it. In one moment I was disappointed that I won’t be able to celebrate and open gifts with family and friends. But on the other hand, I felt guilty for thinking about my shower while others are fighting for their lives or grieving the loss of loved ones. I realized that I had to show myself grace and that I’m concerned about preparing and providing all the things that my baby needs. I also had to give myself some credit for noticing that there are bigger issues such as death and sickness among us.
Although I have my moments where I face thoughts fueled by disappointing news and problems happening around me, I fight mentally and spiritually not to stay in a sunken place. As a human being I have to be true to how I feel. Part of my mental health and well being is that after facing how I truly feel about something, l have to take responsibility of my emotions and say “I refuse to stay here” (that’s where the choice to fight to think and live mentally and spiritually healthy begins). It’s a balance that keeps me grounded. The fact is some circumstances I see and experience during this Covid-19 outbreak make me feel sad, the truth is God is a healer, a keeper, and he’ll never leave my side. I find comfort and security in knowing that God knows what is unknown to me and so I have no reason to worry or fear. I’m resting in Him. I’ve learned to cast all my cares on him because he cares for me. He is my peace that surpasses all understanding, and so 1 Peter 5:7 and phil 4:7 have been keeping my mind when the uneasy questions about my pregnancy come to mind.
You can follow more of Shaina's Journey on:
Instagram: @Shai_james
FB:Shaina James